1. Physical connection versus virtual connection
Now I will get a bit brain geeky on this aspect, but I will try to explain in the simplest terms. When you connect with a human being, you are much more strongly inclined to be with the person physically rather than virtually. The reason behind this is the neurotransmitters (chemicals in the brain) that are responsible for giving pleasure, satisfaction and desire are enhanced in a physical setting rather than a virtual setting. I'm not saying that you won't feel happy when your better half texts you, but you will feel even happier when you meet him or her in person. The reason behind this is because of our senses. When you get a text from your loved one, you don't "see" the person in front of you, but rather visualize him or her. But when you physically "see" your loved one, there is a stronger desire and attraction component to it since the eyes are sending information to the brain to tell it that your loved one is right there in front of you. You can't see your loved one through a text...
Another sense that we use is smell to dissociate our loved ones from other people. Pheromones (a distinct smell unique to each person without any enhancement from cologne or perfumes) are detected by the person that you are with. For humans, it is at a lesser degree since our ability of smell is weak compared to other animal species, but we can sometimes tell a certain smell of a loved one if we have been exposed to them for many times. Again the sense of smell of a person can elicit the neurotransmitters mentioned above. You can't smell your loved one through a text...
A third one is the sense of hearing. It is an enhancement to the sense of sight, which is why you feel happier to see your loved one and talk in front of you rather than just talk on the phone, or even to a lesser extent, text. You can't hear your loved one through a text...
The last sense which is a high contributor for the release of neurotransmitters for pleasure, especially in romantic relationships, is the sense of touch. Touch is a powerful sense which can elicit the neurotransmitters to an even higher extent. Hence why when you hug your loved one, you feel a sudden rush of calm and happiness even during the most stressful times. You can't touch your loved one through a text...
When all these senses are put together, they produce a very strong desire and attraction towards that person. All these senses are absent in a virtual setting hence why you feel more happy and strongly attracted to your loved one when they are in front of you rather than on a screen.
2. Happiness through more human rather than material connection
Society has fooled us to believe that the more things we buy, consume and own will grant us happiness. However, this is a trap since the most depressed people are the ones with the highest monetary value. How is this possible would you say? Well think about it. Let's say you have a small group of friends that you hang out with. One day, you buy a large Olympic-sized swimming pool (yes, let's say you got the land and money for it) and you told your small group of friends about it. They come over and bring other friends that you have never met before. And you and everyone else have a great time. Over time, more and more people are invited and you end up having a large group of friend. Now if we re-wind a minute and take a second to analyze what just happened. Your small group became a large group of friends, but how? Are they (the addition after the small group of friends) there because you developed a certain connection with them on a personal level or is it your large Olympic-sized pool that brought them to you? Are they genuinely friends with you or friends with your pool? Hold that thought for a second as I continue the story.
After a year, of buying your large Olympic-sized pool, things at work start to get a bit rough. You are not hitting your deadlines and are at the brink of losing your job. You begin to stress since you haven't finished paying the mortgage of your mansion (let's say you got that rich). Furthermore, your pool was financed and you still got another year to pay it all off. Life starts to get rough. So you decide to call back-up to help you with your troubles. You decide to contact the large group of friends that you supposedly have. Apparently, everyone gets busy once they heard you were about to lose the mansion and the pool. Your large group of friends becomes small once again. Does this sound like a familiar situation? So you see who your genuine friends are once again.
Now let's look at rich and famous people and how they get stuck with mental illness and depression despite success and fans all over the world. Most of them start off with nothing. No money and no friends. But once they get money (and a ton of it), they get "friends" (a ton of them). But when things get rough in life, as it always does since roughness is a part of life, their "friends" aren't necessarily there for them since they are "friends" with their "money" and not them.
Now poor people tend to remain happy because of their long-lasting human connections which remain with them through good times and bad. They enjoy life because they enjoy and appreciate people rather than material. Money and fame can come and go, but the people close to you will remain loyal to you. Since they spend less time on materials due to the lack of them, they invest more time in the people that play an important role in their life. Think about it. How many things do you own and how much time do you spend using them? A computer, a cellphone, a TV, a car, etc. I am not saying that they are not important since these items are a staple in an urban setting, but most people go beyond the basic material needs in an urban setting. Hence you spend more time on them. 24 hours a day does not increase with more materials, so you have less time to spend elsewhere, hence less time invested in people. Therefore, the logical reasoning is that if you keep your needs for materials to a minimum and not be extravagant, you will have more time left over to spend quality time with the important people in your life. Which comes back to why people with less, live happier lives. They have more time to spend with people they care about.
3. Do you relate to people or things?
All in all, no matter how many materials you may have, people are the only "things" that will respond to your emotions. Materials have no soul, no life, no meaning hence they cannot respond to your emotions. People have emotions so they will equally respond to another person's emotions. An Olympic-sized swimming pool cannot talk you or comfort you during your crises. Another person whom you confide in can. Hence why it is important to make these connections because life will get rough at one point or another. It makes it easier if you have someone to comfort you during those times since your pool won't.
So in closing, choose wisely which people you prioritize and which you should not. Look into the intention of the people that interact with you. Some people may always want to be with you, but probably for the wrong reasons and others may give you space, but are worth keeping in your life. Some people are genuine and others have their own agenda on mind. And remember, connecting with people physically always produces a stronger connection rather than virtual. I am not saying virtual connections are all bad, but if you wish to connect with someone at a much deeper level, it most probably will be done in person rather than a screen. Happy connecting!
