1. "I Suck, my life sucks, everything sucks..."
Description:
This is a phrase that almost everyone is familiar with by the time their reach their 20s. There will be a point in time when you might have said this to yourself. It is okay to feel regret at the beginning stages of failure, but you must push yourself out of that thought at some point.
Possible Solutions:
When I find myself saying anything remotely close to the negative phrase stated above, I simply distract myself from the environment that is causing those thoughts. For example, I ended up with a C- in one of my classes. At first, I felt regret, but I distracted myself from school for a period of 3-4 hours. A tactic that works for me is comedy. I love to laugh since it distracts me from my problems at hand and I obtain a "live in the moment" feeling.
Once I have obtained a relaxed and calm state of mind, I re-address the issue with a more positive frame of mind. This way instead of beating myself up, I become more constructive with the way I work on bettering myself in that class or future classes.
I suggest you find something that is able to excite positive emotions and use it during those times of distress.
2. "Why do bad things happen to me?"
Description:
This is a question that can easily spiral anyone to the darkest and most demonic dungeons of their soul. This is a question that can easily tear the most spiritual person apart. If you find yourself asking this question then that is a red flag to take action which I will describe.
Possible Solutions:
So I am a firm believer in karma and the yin yang principle. Also I am a man of religious faith which helps in cases like these. But the way of attack is to tell yourself that things will work out eventually. There is a reason as to why things happen and "bad things" may be "bad" now, but further down the road they will prove to be a very important part to shape your character and your spiritual toughness and rigour.
A personal example that comes to mind is my body's ability to constantly be either sick or injured. At the time being it always follows a period of sadness and turmoil, but when I do find myself beating my soul for my health, I tell myself the following : "Things are tough now, but they will work out. They always do. There is someone out there with a much worse condition than yourself in the world. Be grateful, Moeen. Give thanks for you have."
With this frame of mind, I then attack my health issue, whatever it may be. If it involves physical rehab, then so be it, then that will be my motivation. "You will get better, Moeen. Just take it one day at a time. Just be patient." So I suggest to give yourself a pep talk that you have written down and that you read to yourself every time you find yourself in such a situation. It does wonders how a different mindset looks at the worst problems that you may face.
3. "Will it ever get better? Will I ever get better?"
Description:
YES!! Your situation will get better! One of my teachers mentioned that life is like an ocean. There are times when the waves are high and there are times when the waves are low. The most important thing is to ride the waves and not let yourself drown. There are ups and downs in life. That is perfectly normal since the downs are to allow your spirit to be tested and broken down. After which you will recover with your waves of ups in life. Your waves of ups are your periods of life where you should take the most advantage of "living in the moment" as I mentioned earlier. These will serve well when you have your periods of low since you can remind yourself that a high wave always follows a low wave no matter what.
Possible Solutions:
The best way to look at scenarios where failure is at its pinnacle in life is to remember how you recovered from your past failures in life. How bad was your situation when you had it rough with money? How many tears did you cry when you first had your heart broken? How many times did you beat yourself up over that terrible grade you got in school?
Now think of where you are NOW in life. If you were an undergraduate student and lived paycheck by paycheck, but NOW you are living your dream career with some money in the bank, how does that make you feel? The first time you got turned down when you asked a girl out, but NOW you are looking at which engagement ring to buy for your fiancee, how does that make you feel? The first time you flunked a class, but NOW you are in a prestigious graduate school, how does that make you feel?
If you noticed, I wrote NOW because you must enjoy the moment that you are living in. Try to find the little positives and joys in life that make your life pleasant instead of nitpicking on the ifs, buts and could haves. Regrets serve no purpose except misery and that negative energy will display onto others as well. Yes, you have problems NOW, but you also have joys NOW as well. Everyone does. Focus on the positive and use it to fix the negatives in your life.
A negative mindset will only bring about negative results. A positive mindset will only bring about positive results. It all depends on how you look at your situation.
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